I know love doesn't come easy for some people... in fact their journey in relationships is more like a battlefield, one filled with heartache, regrets, sadness... the list goes on. I will admit I have been on that battlefield more times than I care to count in my life. But I am not bitter nor have I sworn off love. If anything those experiences allowed me to grow more as a person, allowed me to explore what it is I seek in a partner and what I need to do within myself to be more loving, not only to my partner but most importantly to myself. I didn't have a good example of a loving partnership between couples when I was growing up. My father was a closet alcoholic and abusive. I saw my mother in more fights with him than I want to remember and saw the 'scars' of such fights. I would lay awake at night hearing screaming and yelling and noises that I never want to hear again. When I was older I got up one night and told them to just stop... please just stop. I don't know if they continued their fighting after that... When I was a young teen I asked, in fact begged, my Mum to leave him. But she never did... there was always a reason why she wouldn't. I didn't know what Battered Wives Syndrome was until years later. In the end whilst still a young teen I was removed from home for my own safety. From there my journey in relationships began and failed... began and failed again... Yet after all the heartache and disappointments I never saw the mystery of love as being a thing that is only attainable by the select few. I did however, see myself as flawed, unlovable and a myriad of other things. My self confidence was shattered and as time passed the shattered pieces fell to the ground never to be picked up again. Yes I hit rock bottom... I never knew a person could get to such a low, low point in their life and still somehow manage to breath. Another learning curve for me... one that I am thankful for as it actually forced me to make some serious changes or stay in that pit of emptiness. It also forced me to see me... the real me... and not the person who was always trying to please everyone else. I went through a period of finding me. The one who I didn't even know of. The little girl who so long ago cowered in the corner of her room sobbing with pillows around her head so she didn't have to hear anything anymore. The young teenager angry and full of rage at men. And the older teenager who no longer had faith in a person who was meant to be her protector, who was suppose to take care of her children when living conditions became unbearable. The one who was to ensure her daughter would never be abused... I found all those aspects of myself and with each one sat with them and listened to their heart broken stories... felt their betrayal and abandonment. I loved them as they should have been so long ago and held their hands when no one else did. I showed them a world that they didn't know of... one of promise and wonder. I quelled their fears, their anger, their loneliness... and in turn I became whole. I learned to love me... all of me, including all the little quirks that are a part of who I am. I came to understand my worth in the world and decided to no longer settle for what I thought I should. My standards were raised higher and I no longer allowed my self to be trodden on again. I became a stronger woman... who is also a strong woman for her own daughter. I stopped the self ridicule and saw the many talents that I had deep within me. And in turn I found someone who also sees all those things in me too... Yes it was a hard journey and it did have many setbacks... but I am so grateful to have been given this life with all of its trials and challenges for without them I wouldn't have the understanding or compassion that I do. I wouldn't have looked in the mirror and said, "Let's give this a shot..." This work by Jevareyn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
0 Comments
23/3/2015 0 Comments Can I Keep You... "Can I keep you?" These four simple words she whispered to him whilst snuggling into his back. These words that had been filling her thoughts for the past few days as she was trying to figure out why, or even how, she was contemplating these thoughts. She never expected to fall in love with him. She thought the love she felt was because of the passion they shared. Yet here she was, realising that her love for him was so much deeper. There were things that she just never thought would ever happen again. She had already told him she loved him, it was something he didn't want to hear. But she had learned a long time ago to never leave words unspoken, so she spoke the very words he had try to avoid hearing. Yet, now, she has added something more. "Can I keep you?" Words she had never uttered before as the yearning was never there. But now she was allowing her vulnerability to show through. It was a risk, yes, but a risk she was willing to take. She didn't see his face when she spoke, she didn't know what to expect from him really. He was still and silent, she was prepared for whatever was to come. He turned around and faced her, it was a moment when she thought he was going to pull away and leave. But he didn't instead he kissed her deeply, passionately. She felt safe and understood with him. It was something she had never experienced before. He accepted her as she accepted him, knowing that sometimes he had a darkness that consumed him. She saw a beautiful wildness within him, one not dissimilar to her very own. Yes, she was a little over spirited at times and he had seen that part of her. For once she could be who she really was without being judged or defending herself. That, in itself, was an exquisite freedom that she relished. One that so few saw or understood about her. She didn't want to take away his wildness, but, rather run freely with it. Enjoying the bliss and pure pleasure it brings with it. Knowing that for however long they were meant to be this way it will always be a part of her. Something that her heart had been yearning for for such a long long time and never allowed herself to acknowledge it. Yes she loved him and now she understood the depth of it... However for him, he couldn't return these feelings and he never told her how he felt... so eventually he walked away from her and entered the wild woods once more... never to be seen again... This work by Jevareyn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. 17/2/2014 0 Comments To Love a Woman... If you want to change the world…
Love a woman-really Love her. Find the one who calls to your soul, who doesn’t make sense. Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen. Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing - every winged one, every furry and scaled one, every underground and underwater one, every green and flowering one, every not yet born and dying one… Hear their melancholy praises back to the One who gave them life. If you haven’t heard your own name yet, you haven’t listened long enough. If your eyes aren’t filled with tears, if you aren’t bowing at her feet, you haven’t ever grieved having almost lost her. If you want to change the world… love a woman-one woman beyond yourself, beyond desire and reason, beyond your male preferences for youth, beauty and variety and all your superficial concepts of freedom. We have given ourselves so many choices we have forgotten that true liberation comes from standing in the middle of the Soul’s fire and burning through our resistance to Love. There is only One Goddess. Look into Her eyes and see, really See! if she is the one to bring the axe to your head.. If not, walk away. Right now! Don’t waste time “trying.” Know that your decision has nothing to do with her because ultimately it’s not with who, but 'when' we choose to surrender. If you want to change the world… Love a woman. Love her for life-beyond your fear of death, beyond your fear of being manipulated by the Mother inside your head. Don’t tell her you’re willing to die for her. Say you’re willing to LIVE with her, plant trees with her and watch them grow. Be her hero by telling her how Beautiful she is in her vulnerable Majesty, by helping her to remember every day that she IS Goddess through your adoration and devotion. If you want to change the world… Love a woman in all her faces, through all her seasons and she will Heal you of your schizophrenia- your double-mindedness and half-heartedness which keeps your Spirit and body separate- which keeps you alone and always looking outside your Self for something to make your life worth living. There will always be another woman.. Soon the new shiny one will become the old dull one and you’ll grow restless again, trading in women like cars, trading in the Goddess for the latest object of your desire. Man doesn’t need any more choices. What man needs is Woman, the Way of the Feminine, of Patience and Compassion, non-seeking, non-doing, of breathing in one place and sinking deep intertwining roots strong enough to hold the Earth together while she shakes off the cement and steel from her skin. If you want to change the world… love a woman, just One woman. Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel. Love her through her fear of abandonment which she has been holding for all of humanity. No, the wound is not hers to heal alone. No, she is not weak in her codependence. If you want to change the world… Love a woman all the way through until she believes you, until her instincts, her Visions, her Voice, her Art, her Passion, her Wildness have returned to her. Until she is a force of Love -more powerful than all the political media demons who seek to devalue and destroy her. If you want to change the world, lay down your causes, your guns and protest signs. Lay down your inner war, your righteous anger and Love a woman…beyond all of your striving for greatness, beyond your tenacious quest for Enlightenment. The holy grail stands before you if you would only take her in your arms and let go of searching for something beyond this intimacy. What if peace is a dream which can only be re-membered through the heart of Woman? What if a man’s love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine is the key to opening Her heart? If you want to change the world…Love a woman to the depths of your shadow, to the highest reaches of your Being, back to the Garden where you first met her, to the gateway of the Rainbow realm where you walk through together as Light as One, to the point of no return, to the ends and the beginning of a new Earth. ~ Lisa Citore ~ 17/2/2014 0 Comments To Love a Man... If you want to change the world Love a man; really love him
Choose the one whose Soul calls to yours clearly who sees you; who is brave enough to be afraid Accept his hand and guide him gently to your hearts blood Where he can feel your warmth upon him and rest there And burn his heavy load in your fires Look into his eyes look deep within and see what lies dormant or awake or shy or expectant there Look into his eyes and see there his fathers and grandfathers and all the wars and madness their Spirits fought in some distant land, some distant time Look upon their pains and struggles and torments and guilt; without judgment And let it all go Feel into his ancestral burden And know that what he seeks is safe refuge in you Let him melt in your steady gaze And know that you need not mirror that rage Because you have a womb, a sweet, deep gateway to wash and renew old wounds If you want to change the world Love a man, really Love him Sit before him, in the full majesty of your woman in the breath of your vulnerability In the play of your child innocence in the depths of your death Flowering invitation, softly yielding, allowing his power as a man To step forward towards you…and swim in the Earth’s womb, in silent knowing, together And when he retreats…because he will…flees in fear to his cave… Gather your grandmothers around you…envelope in their wisdoms Hear their gentle shusshhhed whispers, calm your frightened girls’ heart Urging you to be still…and wait patiently for his return Sit and sing by his door, a song of remembrance, that he may be soothed, once more If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him Do not coax out his little boy With guiles and wiles and seduction and trickery Only to lure him…to a web of destruction To a place of chaos and hatred More terrible than any war fought by his brothers This is not feminine this is revenge This is the poison of the twisted lines Of the abuse of the ages, the rape of our world And this gives no power to woman it reduces her as she cuts off his balls And it kills us all And whether his mother held him or could not Show him the true mother now Hold him and guide him in your grace and your depth Smoldering in the center of the Earth’s core Do not punish him for his wounds that you think don’t meet your needs or criteria Cry for him sweet rivers Bleed it all back home If you want to change the world love a man, really love him Love him enough to be naked and free Love him enough to open your body and soul to the cycle of birth and of death And thank him for the opportunity As you dance together through the raging winds and silent woods Be brave enough to be fragile and let him drink in the soft, heady petals of your being Let him know he can hold you stand up and protect you Fall back into his arms and trust him to catch you Even if you’ve been dropped a thousand times before Teach him how to surrender by surrendering yourself And merge into the sweet nothing, of this worlds’ heart If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him Encourage him, feed him, allow him, hear him, hold him, heal him And you, in turn, will be nourished and supported and protected By strong arms and clear thoughts and focused arrows Because he can, if you let him, be all that you dream ~ Anon ~ 17/1/2014 0 Comments As One Door Closes
The last day of 2013...
It was early morning as I sat outside with Nemo... the horses nearby casually eating grass after they had a feed of hay. The air was cool... a nice reprieve from the previous days of heat and hot weather...
There are no 'man-made' noises around me... instead I am surrounded by the sweet songs of birds and insects as they welcome in a new day... a new dawn... a new beginning... As I sit here I contemplate the year that has been... the year which affected so many people in so many ways... a year of trials... setbacks... hardship... emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, spiritually...
I was one of the many who experienced such a year...
I nearly lost my mother to complications that arose from thyroid surgery resulting in her being rushed back in for life-saving surgery, then being in ICU for a number of days... it was a difficult time as I live in another state and the hospital kept calling me asking who could or couldn't visit her. But things improved and eventually Mum was moved out of ICU then released to go home... her road to recovery is still happening but she is improving as each day passes...
Then halfway through the year I had a work related injury that eventually resulted in surgery... to add to this I was burned out from the work environment I was in... so many weeks later I was given clearance to return to work under revised job duties then eventually given clearance to return to full duties... only to realise once and for all that I couldn't be there any more... shouldn't be there any more... as one friend had pointed out to me “... that (workplace) was sucking the life out of me...”
Only now I fully understood what that truly meant for me and what I needed to do...
So before the year had ended I closed that one particular door and handed in my resignation... and sighed with relief as I walked out the doors and never looked back... I am now free from that one thing that was riding me so hard and relentlessly...
But my journey of healing hasn't ended... if anything it is now truly beginning as I take in the beginning of each day and learn from the lessons the birds and insects are now giving me... a new dawn.. a new day... a new beginning... Throughout the whole year I never waivered from being an animal healer... if anything it only made the soul purpose stronger as I strived to do the 'day job' and heal the animals who were calling to be healed... when the injury happened I had to turn the healing inwards so when I came out the other side I would be the best I could ever be for the animals as they patiently waited for my return... The Souls Purpose: “To understand the journey of the soul is to also let go of what you call definition of soul. To define a soul is to limit a soul.” Book Three, The Lost Books of the Essene
During that period of down time I was given the opportunity to stop... it was a blessing in many ways as I was able to tune in more with what was around me and started to write the messages from the animals as they came to me each day... some of these were personal messages and others I could share on the Facebook page... I was so glad that I could as there were many people out there who needed to hear these messages too...
I found out so much about myself during that time and as hard as our home situation was getting I was learning some very valuable lessons...
I was getting to know myself and I cried...
I cried so much that my whole body ached from the pain of it... I cried because I had been a stranger to myself... I cried because I had so much to give to others but fell short of treating myself with the same amount of care... I cried because I needed to... I cried because there was no where left for me to hide... I cried because there was so much I had held onto and now it was time to release it... I cried because I had been strong for far too long...
It was time to let go of the fear... the outrageously high expectations I had of myself... the need to always do things by myself... it was time to simply let go...
And move forward
So now on the last day of the year... I can make the necessary steps to change the way things go from here... I have control again...
Beside me Nemo stretches and relaxes as a gentle breeze glides over him... a message that I am on the right path... in 2013 I became untangled from the things that were holding me back... it was a long process of transformation to allow new things into my life...
Here are some ideas for you on how to use and fill in the books:
Yes! You can fill out your 2014 workbook on iPad or computer!
I am also beginning a new ritual with each new moon this year of writing out an abundance check from the Universe. Plus following more closely the Wheel of Life and each moon phase that passes through it. I am going back to my roots... going back to where it all began with me so many years ago... going back to the ebb and flow of the cycle of life with the elemental forces of creation. Watching and taking notice of when is the best times to create, manifest and rest. Taking more care of myself will be a high priority this year... which in turn will benefit the animals who are still patiently waiting for me to heal them.
This year I am giving myself permission to reach for my dreams... permission to be me... I am giving myself permission to say YES! Even if it scares the crap outta me... it is time to not let fear step in the way of my Soul Purpose!
So where does this sit withJupiter's Animal Healing...
What this will mean for Jupiter's Animal Healing is that I can devote more time with the animals. I can be more present for them and their carers. I will be doing what my heart and soul yearns for me to do and that is helping you and helping the animal/s who have chosen to be a part of your life... and in the process Jupiter's Animal Healing will grow and evolve into what it is meant to be for both people and animals alike... It has also enabled me to get Balanced Heart and Soul up which will be focusing more on people and how you can enable your own personal growth through health, life-style changes, motivation and finding your soul purpose... this is something I have been wanting to do for a long time as I felt much of what I was posting was more closely related to helping people... which is something I enjoy doing. In many ways they are both interlinked... by helping animals I help people and vice versa... So I now open my doors and heart to allow in all the goodness that is waiting... and I will always endeavour to be the best I can be for all the animals who are stepping up to be healed. During the times that I am in stillness I will be continuing on my inner and outer work to make my world a better place for those who are a part of it... This work by Tania Collier is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. 17/1/2014 0 Comments making My Way Through ObstaclesOriginally posted on Jupiter's Animal Healing in August 2013 For the last two days I have been sitting in front of a fire watching the flames flicker and move about as it gently caresses the wood with its fingers... As I sit here I have had much to contemplate and consider as things have changed over the last week or so... Many things have changed... I am now faced with a future that may be different from the one I imagined it to be... not significantly but different all the same. Some of this I knew was coming and some I didn't... funny how we try to block out the things that are trying to guide us. This year so far has been interesting ~ I have had danger visit my home... and I've also had joy I've had moments of sharing with people... and moments of solitude I've had fear stare me in the face... and I've had my heart opened to many possibilities I've had to be there for someone who was too far away... and I've had someone there for me I've ever so briefly felt the sweet caress of a lover's touch.... and had it slowly slip away I've had friendships end for the silliest of things... I've also had many new ones begin All this is but a small portion of my year thus far... But now I am faced with a new challenge... one that has shaken me... one that has me sitting here in front of the fire... looking for guidance... No I don't have a life threatening illness... But I do have a future with some uncertainty as many things are dependent on a successful outcome... This is not something new... we all face times in our lives where we cannot see where our lives are going... they are challenges that meet us when our abilities are called upon and tested to adapt, change or modify such changes when they occur... I often say "go with the flow" this is a Taoist philosophy and is one I truly believe in. But sometimes this flow can become like water rapids as it changes course, moves quickly and crashes into obstacles along the way... You struggle for breath as you stumble around in a maze of unknowns... chaos grips your mind as you try to comprehend what this all means.... trying to find a way out, somewhere to escape but it is no-where to be seen... So the only option left is to be still and allow the myriad of thoughts come rushing through as you look for an opening of something that will help you make sense of it all... and there it is... As your breathing relaxes, you unclench your jaw and realise to navigate this obstacle there is an opening before you... Slowly the crashing ebbs and wanes... you find yourself flowing into a lake... yes you are still going with the flow but now it is much slower... now you have time to contemplate, to review, to take stock of everything occurring around you... and within you... You now have time on your hands... time to look within... time to understand where all these changes fit into the grand scheme of things... are they minor/major... what are you willing to do... what directions you may need to take.... From here the water continues to flow as it once again finds the path that is waiting for it... the path filled with the continuing journey that lays ahead... Know that at the end of it all it has made you a better person... Until another day comes along and you find you are challenged again... this is all part of the journey of self-discovery... this is all part of growing and evolving... So for now I sit here and look at all the events, people and occasions that have entered my life... I thank them all with deep gratitude for the beautiful lessons they have brought to me... and the ones that were only with me briefly I send them off with a tender goodbye... but the ones that are here to stay for an unknown length of time I welcome with open arms and an open heart to the joy, abundance and treasures they will bring... When your life has made a dramatic change and you find yourself crashing in a sea of chaos do you cling desperately and fight against it... or are you going to allow yourself to be taken to a river of calm and serenity as you seek the guidance that you need... then slowly when all has been done flow out onto the path of your dream, your soul purpose... your destiny? We all have choices... it is up to us which ones we choose... "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water." ~ Bruce Lee I have been sitting in front of a fire watching the flames flicker and move about as it gently caresses the wood with its fingers... This work by Tania Collier is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. 17/1/2014 0 Comments Come Sit With Me Come and sit by me near the fire as I tell you a story of a far away place in a time of long ago. A place where magic was everywhere and dreams came true... a place where the fruit trees blossomed with a single touch of your hand and the sky dropped pearls of rainbow jewels. A place where people treasured all life and each other. Where love was sacred and as beautiful as the heavenly skies that shone like fire when the moon was nigh Come sit by me as I weave a tale with the silken thread of a time of old Where maidens and men were once classed as equals and the elders were looked upon as grand masters where the story of life was originally brought forth by the mouth of a goddess who spilled rubies as she spoke come sit by me as we look upon the flame and the place that I speak of appears in our minds where you will feel the depth of emotion with a touch to awaken so the world you now reside in will never again be the same come sit with me by the sacred fire of passion and allow it to breathe and caress your body a fire that was never accessed until you reached deep within and seeked the belly of wildness and the untamed come sit with me as I touch your lips with but the thought of my mind as I slowly unfold the knot that you have kept so well hidden allow our bodies to meld our souls touch and mingle and take us on a cosmic journey come sit with me and tell me your fears so we can slowly tread upon the shores of the unknown allow your inner truth to be heard and trusted and together tame the beast that has you so shaken come sit with me as I kindle the fire of a passion gone wanting and left alone dying with but a single breathe it will stir and your heart will once more soar as it feels the depth of my truth and allows once more for the river of destiny to flow.. come sit with me by the fire... This work by Tania Collier is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. 17/1/2014 0 Comments A dark PlaceI wrote this in 2009... after a time that I had been swallowed by a deep depression and found a way to crawl back out of it... I am sharing it for people who are in that 'dark place' that things can and do improve, if you let it... and for the people who have not experienced this, or have someone close to them who is, you can at least get a small understanding of where they currently reside and be that guiding light for them... namaste I once resided in a dark place. A place that contained nothing but blackness. A place with no emotion, no light. I do not know when I first entered this place... perhaps it was when I felt my first heartbreaking betrayal or when I first experienced gut wrenching loss... I do not know when. All I know is that it was there waiting for me so that it could consume me, give me false promises, make me feel safe... But I wasn't safe, not in the way a person should feel safe, protected, assured. At first I would just visit this dark place, the silence, the solitude. But slowly over time I spent more hours, more days, more weeks there until, eventually, it became my world. I was consumed... consumed by a world which I had created. It was a lonely, desolate place, yet at first I did not understand this. I did not realise that I was closing myself off from everyone, everything.... me. I was operating in a world that was no longer a part of me. Everyday I would go through the motions of what was expected of me. But I was numb, I could not and would not express any emotion. I had shut down. I was looking through a window from inside my world where I could no longer feel pain, no longer feel hurt or betrayed, no longer feel anything... Just the deep dark chasm of emptiness, of solitude, of nothing... Sometimes I would get angry with myself for being in this place, for allowing myself to get hurt, for destroying or ruining people's lives. But then I would just sink further down into the void of emptiness where it would lull me into a false security... I was safe there... it was quiet... All I would do was just float in this void and see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing... safe. Safe from the outside world, safe from the fear... I would hear people, even feel people, try to reach for me, extend a hand, a feeling of love. But I would turn away. I did not want anyone around me... I was not worthy. I did not want to feel anything... just the void, the void of emptiness. It was now my friend, my companion. It would not hurt me, expect me to be something or someone I'm not... I was allowed to just float... float away into nothingness... When I entered this dark world to stay I felt abandoned, unloved, unworthy, alone and isolated... the darkness closed around me like a blanket. I found solace there... something was there for me... The hands kept reaching for me, beckoning me to return, begging me to return home... But I was home... in my world. Why does everyone want to take this away from me? Occasionally I would see a glimmer of light, just a flicker before I turned away from it. Slowly over time I would hear a voice, a soft voice, a caring voice... it was somewhere in the darkness. It started as a small sound, just a hum then slowly I began to hear it clearly. The voice spoke to me as if it knew me, knew everything about me... I became fearful that it was another trick to trap me so that I could be hurt again, feel emotion again. The voice was never angry when I turned away from it... it just grew silent. The further away I floated the less I heard the voice... Yet it was always there, it expressed many things to me, showed me slowly that I had placed myself in a trap... a trap of nothingness... The voice would let in light, just a small dim light... enough for me to see that there was something for me beyond the self-imposed prison. I stayed away from the light and the voice... but close enough to still hear the voice. It never beckoned me to come closer... the voice was patient. Sometimes I would stray too close to the light that had been brought in and I would feel warmth, love.... life. I was wary of this but at the same time I craved more... the voice was stirring something in me, something I was missing and whatever it was I would find it in the light and not in my dark world... “Help me...” I asked quietly, “... can someone please help me...” I began to feel cold, alone, isolated... I wanted to feel alive again.. I wanted to feel the sun on my face and breathe... “Help me...” I started to implore, “... can someone please help me...” The voice continued to talk to me, reassured me that I would be OK... it spoke of many things and I started to remember. I remembered who I was and what I meant to some people, I also began to understand what these very same people meant to me. I remembered my dreams, my plans, my life purpose. I started to feel emotion. I began to breathe... I felt love, not fear when I listened to the voice more and more... the voice gave me strength, it gave me hope... it showed me light... The hands of people came to me again and this time I took them. I wasn't letting go. It was time for me to get out of my prison and live again. I was free! It was a slow journey to walk away from that dark world as so much had happened to me over a long period of time that helped me to build it. But now I am free. I see the beauty in life all around me and I know that I can survive. I enjoy life, cherish it. Breathe it in each and every moment. I no longer hide form my emotions as I have come to understand that I need to feel them. ALL of them. They are my guides to help me understand myself and others around me. They also help me to release any blockages that I may have so that I can move forward again. Continue on my journey of life. I have come to understand that I was never alone, I just shut everyone and everything out. The world is not total darkness but a myriad of colours that blend together to make a beautiful painting of life. The world is not total silence but the subtle sounds of everything in it. The world is not filled with nothingness. It is filled with laughter, happiness, joy, bliss, ecstasy, love. It is also filled with sadness, anger and pain. But they all meld together so that I can experience life to the fullest. Emotions do not hurt me, instead they help me to grow and evolve. Do I still go back to the dark world? Yes, occasionally. Not to dwell but to tend the garden I have planted to help it heal and grow. Every time I visit more light enters and the darkness is beginning to fade. The darkness needs to be there in some places to keep the balance but it no longer has the power it once did. In the darkness now I can feel something... it is called hope. I still hear the voice that once guided me back to life. It was me all along, the one part of me that never lost faith, belief or hope. The part of me that is surrounded in love. My soul, my spirit... me. I once resided in a dark place... but that was long ago... © 2009 Tania Collier This work by Tania Collier is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. 17/1/2014 0 Comments Let Go“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” I can relate to this quote... there were many things that were holding me back (including myself) from the wonderful experiences and moments being presented to me... there came a point in time when I knew I just had to let it go... let everything go that I perceived to be protecting me (when in reality it wasn't)... let go of all the 'ideals' I had projected upon myself of things being a specific way... let go of needing to be 'something better' before I could be 'anything' for another person (myself included)... let go... I knew in that one moment of time I just had to let go... and I did... it was a beautiful and enlightening experience to do that... to just let go... to feel the heaviness lift from me and just allow myself to breathe... to be able to just let go and to go with the flow of everything as it comes to me... to know that for whatever reasons that I was holding myself back from the joyous pleasures of life were merely an illusion I had placed on myself from previous experiences, expectations, upbringing, societal expectations.. and not thinking I was worthy or good enough... let go... I knew deep within that this was something I needed to do... but out of fear or perhaps uncertainty I would stop just when I was at that pinnacle of letting everything fall away and show the vulnerability in me... the softness in me... the feminine within... the goddess/creatrix that I am, have always and will always be... in many ways I was afraid of being seen as weak for my vulnerability... for allowing others to see me... all of me and who I am under all the masks and layers I had so well hidden behind for so long... let go... Yet for my life to change... for any change to be effective I had to drop all of it... I had to become bare and naked to the raw feelings and emotions that I would often deny... I needed to experience these emotions... in their fullness and allow growth from them... from the deep well that I had for so long tended and kept protected... hidden... I let it open up and flow away... I let go of everything that was contained in that well... pain, anger, frustration, control, fear, emptiness, betrayal... everything needed to go so that I was once again an empty vessel ready to receive the gifts being offered to me... to allow tenderness back into my heart, my life... to allow so many things that there was once no room for... let go... When that very moment occurred I had no idea what the results would be... had no expectations of outcomes... I just wanted to be free... I wanted to bring back to my life something that I had denied... and something that I had never experienced before... I wanted to be alive in all the ways possible... I wanted to feel so much so deeply... let go... And since that day I made the decision to allow everything to drop away... to say yes to things that I would have normally said no... to experience the joys that I have and the sheer ecstasy of connection... I have found that there is so much more waiting for me... and with an open heart and open arms I am going to embrace it all with every fibre of my being... I am going to allow the things that I once so long ago turned away from... I am allowing myself to be felt deeply, intentionally, emotionally, spiritually... and as each new experience touches my soul I will know that it is in that very moment that I am meant to be where I am for how ever long it will be... and with that I will be grateful for the love, joy and connection that was and is given so freely... let go... see the world with different eyes as you allow a lovers touch upon your skin and let yourself feel the joys that are waiting for you by releasing your fears of what should have been... instead become an empty cup which is being refilled with things that have deeper meaning to a life the soul has always known as you desperately planned one that was not the right way for growth or connection... allow the softness back in your life become one with the dreams deep inside you a life that you had dreamed of so long ago but only saw half of the picture as the veils covered the parts that you did not want to see... now that you are ready to experience this life on a new level in a new way you will see that so many pieces will all fit together as the synchronicities play and show you a new beginning to a life that wasn't going to be different to what you were trying to plan instead it has become deeper as it is continually growing and all because you made the decision to let go... This work by Tania Collier is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. 17/1/2014 0 Comments Awaken it is a place that is lush with dreams and wonders it is within space within time it is an illusion within an illusion or so it seems to the untrained eye a magical place of endless possibilities where dreams unfold and come to life showing you the different directions that one thought can take where one action can take on a life of its own and take you to worlds unknown from the depths of the soul a calling is heard from a far off place in a distant land where the heart is yearning to be directions you take paths you follow to come to this place of untold dreams to see and experience your true destiny if only in the glimmer in a tear drop that falls the heart is pounding the soul is guiding to be reconnected to an energy so old as your old stories unfold into nothingness from here you will see the life you dreamed once so wistfully a life full of passion love and devotion the tenderest touch upon your breast as your soul gives a resounding yes you know this place you know this space you have been here once before if only in a dream of long ago and as your story that was once told aeons ago starts to unfold and becomes a reality the tears come unbeckoned as the body comes to understand what the soul has known all along a journey that was once believed to be no more and slowly forgotten as a far off place but now that dream has come to be renewed as slowly the dawn opens up and you awaken... This work by Tania Collier is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. |
Archives
May 2016
Categories
All
|